


Ashes to Ashes

by NeoDiji



Category: Code Geass
Genre: Angst, Cat, Coping, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, cat death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-07-07 23:09:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19859539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeoDiji/pseuds/NeoDiji
Summary: Lelouch comforts Suzaku when Suzaku makes an impossible choice concerning his beloved cat.





	Ashes to Ashes

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I do not own Code Geass.
> 
> Warnings for Arthur's death.

“I thought I’d find you here.”

Suzaku jerked to attention, his gaze landing on Lelouch hovering awkwardly over him. Funny how he hadn’t noticed Lelouch’s shadow. Swallowing thickly, Suzaku glanced down again. His voice cracked as he murmured, “It’s where we met.”

Nodding, Lelouch settled beside him on the park steps. “You fixed his hurt leg back then, didn’t you?”

Slumping, Suzaku shook his head. “No, Euphy did.”

“You give yourself too little credit.”

Suzaku cringed, his heart hammering in a too-small space. “I take credit for my sins, though, Lelouch.” Gulping air, he angled his knees towards his friend. “I…I killed him…” A flash of memory assaulted his brain, his father bleeding out on the floor, calling him a fool, his impulses getting the best of him…

But this.

This was worse.

It was murder. Premeditated. Planned. Rationalized.

Lelouch put a gentle hand on Suzaku’s shoulder. “You let him have peace.”

“I should have found another way,” Suzaku croaked, feeling the phantom brush of fur nudging his palm, of teeth clamping on his fingers in a way that screamed, “Notice me, dammit!”

Lelouch sighed and shifted closer, bumping shoulders with Suzaku in a silent show of support. “You went through every possible way this could go. You made a choice. You made the right one, Suzaku.”

“You never even cared about him,” Suzaku said, unable to help the bitterness welling inside, spilling out unbidden.

Lelouch only leaned in closer. “Of course I cared. He was important to you.”

Slightly humbled, Suzaku pressed back against Lelouch. “Thank you for that.” It wasn’t the same as Lelouch actually caring about Arthur for Arthur’s sake, but…it was something all the same. A warm breeze washed over him, drying the salty tear stains on his cheeks. “Lelouch.”

“Yes?”

There was something so incredibly reassuring about Lelouch’s unwavering support. Suzaku rested his head on Lelouch’s shoulder. Babbled about his favorite memories with his beloved cat, his voice catching and his eyes tearing anew with every fresh brush against the tender pain. Behind every precious moment was the overlaid image of Arthur limp in the vet’s arms, dead and gone and void of the life he was so well known for—the life he brought to everyone, to Suzaku. As the sun finally trekked towards the far horizon, Suzaku pressed, “What was your favorite memory of Arthur?”

Lelouch chuckled, the sound deep and comforting against Suzaku’s ear. “You mean besides all the times he bit you?” Dodging Suzaku’s half-hearted swipe, Lelouch sobered and offered instead, “I think it must be the time he helped create an opportunity for you to be accepted at Ashford. He was a cat who always knew what was important.”

“Yeah,” Suzaku said, swallowing down another overdose of guilt. “What’s important…”

“Suzaku?”

Suzaku lifted his head, dared to look Lelouch straight in the eye in the light of the looming sunset. “Lelouch, who am I to play God?”

Lelouch simply stared at him, the perfect picture of composure. “You mean because you made the decision to have Arthur put down because he had zero quality of life anymore.”

“But I—!”

“Sometimes,” Lelouch said, grabbing hold of Suzaku’s hand, “you have to take responsibility, even if it means making an impossible choice. Doing the best you can in such circumstances? That’s not playing God, Suzaku—that’s being human.”

Suzaku tucked his chin against his chest, his eyes smarting again. “But I…”

“If you had the ability, you would have saved him,” Lelouch said, his voice dipping into the tender tones he usually reserved for Nunnally. “I’m sure Arthur knows that as well, from where he’s happy and pain-free right now, looking down on you and wishing he could bite you for wallowing in guilt.”

Suzaku managed a tiny nod. “You’re right. He would want to bite me.”

Lelouch smiled gently. “You knew him, and he knew you, too. It’ll be okay. Maybe not right now, but it will be. And I’m here for you.”

“Yeah,” Suzaku said, squeezing Lelouch’s hand in overwhelming gratitude. “You always are. Can you…maybe do one more thing for me?”

“Name it.”

Suzaku looked up, wiped at the corner of his eye. “I’d like to spread his ashes from the Ashford bell tower.”

Lelouch brushed another tear from Suzaku’s face. “I’ll be there. We’ll do it together.”

Suzaku was able to offer a small but genuine smile. He would always miss his cat. This Arthur-shaped hole in his chest might not ever go away, but the wound would scar and Suzaku wore his scars with pride. Someday, he might even be able to think of his cat without crying. That day was not today.

He glanced at Lelouch with warmth. At least he had a shoulder to cry on in the meantime.

**Author's Note:**

> ...Basically, if I have to suffer losing [Nectar](https://neodiji.tumblr.com/post/186376555729/good-bye-nectar), then Suzaku must suffer losing Arthur. Let me cope, dammit.


End file.
